What I Desire

I hate it when he gets like this.

I hate it when he gets like this.

Something I haven’t asked myself for a long long time. Why not? Because I think I deserve to suffer. Never mind why on that. Just know that I’ve never robbed a bank, never hit a woman, and never broken one of the Ten Commandments. The one I didn’t break will remain my secret.

In short, I’m a Scot. Guilty from the git-go. Trying to make a comeback. Why Raebert keeps giving me such hard looks, no doubt.

I desire… to ride a motorcycle again. I have a convertible sports car of considerable power. Haven’t put the top down in years. I was tempted yesterday. Spring and all that. Didn’t do it, though. I’m 60. I turn off the prostate commercials because I usually have to get up once in the middle of the night. To pee. Humiliation.

Had to jump start the lawn tractor so I could cut the grass. Waiting for the battery to recharge, I was sitting next to my Harley. Dusty, sad, unused. I DESIRED to ride it again.

Made me realize I haven’t desired much of anything for a long long time. Wanted maybe. A kiss, a kid’s smile, the approval of my wife’s difficult children and grandchildren, a dinner with my newer friends. All tough objectives that require work and planning, excepting a kiss from my wife, and I thought that was what life has become. I’m now doing two blogs and I was sure that was what I wanted. But not what I DESIRED.

I DESIRE to ride a motorcycle again. Raebert doesn’t approve, but that would be HIS problem.

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