Our 48th President

President Malia.

Her parents’ daughter, a bored and sullen autocrat. President Malia.

Let’s see how it’s going to go. First, Hillary, 70-something at her inauguration. Then Michelle. She’ll be a peach. Then Chelsea. (Face it. The Bushes are the Plantagenets in this story, and the Kennedys might as well be Aelfric the Obsolete. All those penises and things.) After Chelsea has finished turning the United States into the Politically Correct States of Ghana, Malia can become the new Madonna of Argentina. It’s going to be great.

After she marries Chris Brown and gets beaten to a pulp, the country will rally around her and she can sing…

It will probably replace the Star Splattered Banner at games of the national pastime, girls’ soccerbasket.

By then, thankfully, I’ll be dead as a fucking doornail. Can you make the same boast?

7 thoughts on “Our 48th President

  1. You’re delusional. Everything is still run by white people, primarily men. America is moving demographically toward the other Americas, South and Central, inasmuch as the mass of the people will be brown and black, as will their politicians, but things will still be run by a small white elite, kind of like how things are done now in Sao Paulo or Chihuahua (or Chappaqua, New York or Martha’s Vineyard).

    Life will be nightmarish for your average white prole (things are already pretty bad), but that was kind of the plan all along. Our situation with the democrats (and to a lesser extend the Republicans) is just a more attenuated version of Labour’s more explicit project to humiliate their people across the pond.

    Obama don’t piss without Lloyd Blankfein or Jamie Dimon giving him the go-ahead. Malia, if she’s selected for totem/token president, won’t have anymore latitude than her dad.

    I also don’t understand the obsession with Obama’s family (specifically Michelle). Obama isn’t owed anything, based on the fundamental rule of game theory (since his supporters treated Bush like shit), but I don’t remember (and correct me if I’m wrong) a lot of vitriol being slung at Laura Bush (Barbara, maybe).

    I think you’re projecting, and onto a teenage girl, at that.

    • Sorry, Joe. You’re the one who’s delusional. Your “white people” construct doesn’t apply to Obama and Holder. If you insist Jamie Dimon is in charge, have at it, but conspiracy theories are basically signs of a small mind trying to make big, sloppy events small and logical. They aren’t.

      It’s all a mess, it’s all corrupt, but it’s not true that a good man or two couldn’t make a difference. If it were true, you could just move to Honduras and become a gun runner with a big bottle and a big titted concubine. Maybe what you’ve always wanted an excuse to do anyway. Boring.

      Laura Bush didn’t spend five years sucking up every dime she could get hold of vacationing all over the world in $500 sneakers and securing multi-hundred million dollar government contracts for her political friends from college.

      And don’t even try to make me feel guilty about satirizing the Obama girls. The Bush girls got hammered by the press. They were depicted as drunks, whores, etc, by the MSM. I’ve done nothing of the sort. I’ve suggested we’re at the end of the republic and that a line of succession is being built which has everything to do with blood and nothing to do with ability. If you’re feeling protective of Malia, ask her out. See how far that gets you.

      Seems to me you’re pissed, and pissing, in every direction. Put it back in your pants. Or at least decide on a compass point to piss in.

      And — hint, hint — do whatever it takes to reacquaint your bitter soul with something called a sense of humor.

  2. “Conspiracy theories”?

    Blankfein’s been to the White House 14 times as of 2013 (http://freebeacon.com/goldman-sachs-succeeds-where-gore-fails/). Tell me ( or ask a real paranoid,Dinesh D’Souza) how many times has Jeremiah Wright been there? You don’t need a conspiracy (or even David Brook’s “Bobos in Paradise”) to understand that the shift in power has nothing to do with race. The Industry, defense, R & D, and subsidy powers of the right have been usurped by the tech and financial services sectors (with Hollywood and Media as ancillaries) of the left, and so conservatism has likewise been eclipsed. There’s no conspiracy, just serendipity inasmuch as Obama’s resentment for “white people clinging to guns” matches pretty well with the coastal (mostly New York and New England) fear and loathing of flyover types. Obama doesn’t hate white people. He hates powerless white people. His friends hate powerless people period. You see where the Venn Diagrams overlap?

    I don’t see why the phrase “white people” necessitates scare quotes or could be considered a construct (other than a biological one). “Color-blind conservatism” has given us Michael Steele, Allan West, Herman Cain, and Benjamin Carson, men of varying ability and worth, none of whom have shifted the tectonic plates beneath the voting blocs one whit. The future with a white minority means that implicit white identity will at some point have to become explicit as a matter of survival. I don’t think any Boomer (even one with as much common sense as you) has the stomach for that.

    On another subject, I was surprised there has been no eulogy here for Lou Reed, may he rest in peace. Contrary to what you think, I’m not very pissed right now, but that’s mostly Lou’s doing, not mine or yours.

    • You have no mercy. have you seen how much posting I’ve done today? i’m whipped.

      No eulogy because I’ve been stalked by a blogger who thinks I’m Lou Reed.

      But okay. I’ll see what I can do.

      • Holy crap. There is a resemblance between you and Reed! Not uncanny, but enough of one. I’m sorry Lou died, but for an IV drug user who experimented bisexually in the New York scene well into the mid-80s, he didn’t do bad to die at the age of 71 as a rich old man living in Long Island.

        His best song, by the way, is Coney Island Baby: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPrIulnAblk

        My heart won’t truly break until Van Morrison is dead.

  3. Yes.

    “Look on the happy side. We’ll be dead soon and won’t have to face all this crap for much longer,” that’s my husband’s favorite declaration for cheering me up when I spend too much time talking about politics.

    Works pretty well, as long as I can put our progeny out of my head.

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