Yup. I’m a Templar. Always have been.

Born in the 11th century. Never died. God decides.

Born in the 12th century. Never died. God decides. Raebert’s been with me since my horse expired.

I know it’s hard to accept. You don’t have to. Only I have to. You don’t know what it’s like to behold you.

It’s an advantage, I admit. I know everything, for example. Like who killed Kennedy, what happened to the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant, and what the New World Order is all about. I also know who wrote Shakespeare’s plays and what the Voynich manuscript means.

I take my orders directly from HQ at Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland.

Rosslyn. Do you know it?

Rosslyn. Do you know it? Jimmy Hoffa is buried there.

Feel free to discuss. Just trying to remain as relevant as all the other stories coursing through the media while the four real reporters in the nation are on Christmas vacation.

I don’t know for sure, but I’m thinking that if I were you, I’d have some questions. I can answer some if not all. Please advise.

10 thoughts on “Yup. I’m a Templar. Always have been.

  1. I never thought about the connection before, but I must admit it makes perfect sense. I hope you enjoy the story of Arn because now that I think about it, you two have a lot in common.

    I think the Ark is in Ethiopia. Right or wrong? I’ll bite on the Holy Grail, though. Where is that?

    • The Ark is not in Ethiopia.

      The Grail is, interestingly enough, sitting in the back of a china cupboard in Sandusky, Ohio. It’s owned by a little old lady who used to put scented candles in it. Which makes sense because it looks like a fattish coffee cup with no handle. She gives interviews to the local press and TV about how she’s managed to live to 102 while smoking three packs of Camels a day. If she ever does die, a Templar will retrieve the Grail and feed it into the vast network of antique/junk shops in Ohio. Or Indiana. Still undetermined.

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