Get your wife two kinds of gifts. What she wants and didn’t know she wanted. And something completely unexpected that has no practical value whatsoever.

Don’t get defensive. I’m just an old guy. My wife still routinely gets me better gifts than I give her. But I hang in there, always trying. Which is where all the points are scored.

She said she wanted a Rutgers football jersey. Couldn’t find one, even after ransacking the Internet.

Not saying I have it all figured out. But I’ve learned to go with the flow. Rutgers doesn’t sell jerseys, just billions of tee-shirts. The Ravens won the Super Bowl but they, uh, suck. The solution?

Why I’m the smartest guy on the planet. Rutgers guy Ray Rice signed this jersey. She loooooves it.

Then there’s the other thing. She loved this too.

Think about it. A lot.