Last Chance Garage Redux

It's okay. Honestly. You're busy people.

It’s okay. Honestly. You’re busy people.

This is probably my last post at Deerhound Diary.

I can’t stop writing, but I can stop hoping. The country is done. And you are done.

Nothing against any of you personally, but you’re done. Your passions are bled away to carps and complaints. No reaction to the plethora of content I’ve posted here. No responses to Shuteye Nation, Shuteye Town, Glovesoff, 10 years of Instapunk, the live ICR of The Boomer Bible, nothing. No attempt to highlight or think about any of the content. You can’t be bothered. Any of you. No attempt by anyone anywhere to promote this site on Facebook or Twitter. Fine. I understand. No attempt by anyone to offer financial assistance to the continuation of this vain attempt to speak truth without kowtowing to the professional media or political activists. Some of you read the posts. Thanks.

Why I’m headed to Johnny’s Last Chance Garage. I’ll write there as I can. I don’t believe in warriors anymore. All I can be is a highly vulnerable resistance. Because I believe the president should be impeached and removed from office. You go on and do what you do. Whatever that is. Thanks for whatever that is.

Thanks to Guy. Hope you return to good health. Thanks to Lake. Hope you have an outstanding career. Thanks to Tim. Hope you weren’t rooting for Ovechkin today. I absolve you all of any obligations. And everyone else. From now on I will be simply a diarist, talking about nonsense in the dialect of an irrelevant oldster. No more movements, fevers, and politics. Just trivia.

I’ve had it with trying to convince anyone that what I have to say should attract any attention. It shouldn’t. When the world is too busy to listen, what you’re saying isn’t important. Mencken. Or was it Babbitt? One of those.

I’m not trying to give you a hard time. You’re young’uns who all know far less than you think you know and I’m tired and old. I have lost the power to entertain, educate, or inspire you. You no longer even get my jokes. How you know when to retire to the garage.

Raebert says thanks too. He loves you guys.

Raebert says thanks too. He loves you guys.

11 thoughts on “Last Chance Garage Redux

  1. Sounds a bit like the guy who wins the race by such a large margin that he ends up lamenting the fact there is no one around to celebrate his victory. You have always been light years ahead of everybody else. And you know it.

    I have been excessively busy. Working the job. Getting the promotion. Getting more money. Doing the stuff that makes America what it cannot be if there aren’t people like me out there earning real wages and spending those dollars in the real economy.

    The President no longer matters and this is perhaps the greatest achievement of Reganomics. We don’t need a government anymore and in fact all it does is get in the way. Sure, Benghazi. Sure, the IRS scandal. But guess what? If nobody does anything about it nothing changes.

    Let’s make money, Robert. Why not? Seriously, if you want to get your voice heard you don’t have to be smart or thoughtful or articulate. You have to have access. And without money good luck getting access. Because you have to do a lot more than write poetry if you want fame ( fame being the only alternative to money when it comes to getting your voice heard). And fame is fickle whereas money (like gravity) always attracts.

    Whatever. I understand your feeling low, undervalued. Make something of it or steep in your vinegar. The choice is and always has been yours to make.

    • My vinegar is vintage, sold by the year. 2014 is slightly less valuable than 1970, 1973, 1976, 1992, 2008, and 2012. But invest now. Values are sure to go up dramatically.

  2. >Thanks to Lake.

    You’re welcome.

    >Hope you have an outstanding career.

    And I hope you have a well-deserved rest. I don’t have that luxury. It’s not an excuse, it’s survival. What were you doing at 36 years old? Working, I imagine.

    • Really Lake? To someone who you say changed your life? The best writer you’ll ever read or know?

      What’s gotten into you? Just plain rude and obnoxious. Shame on you.

      • It’s a two way street, Alfa. After all we’ve been through together, he tore into me with knives out. You did too, from what I hear. We went from joy at the confluence of the entire archives to total disdain of all of us “young ‘uns” in a couple of weeks, and now it’s all over.

        Yes, he changed my life for the better, and yes, he turned my life to a different track exactly when I needed it. Yes, he’s been a hero and a father figure and a mentor and a friend to me, and I’ve said so repeatedly. I’ve invested hundreds of hours into the Boomer Bible site, the archives, and this site itself, which I set up in under 24 hours when Instapunk seemed out for the count.

        This is rude and obnoxious? I’ve been called a diva, uncaring, a child, testy, a shit, all by a man that I consider a legend. I know you will defend everything he says and does, but do you remember what it was like when the kids were young? He says I don’t care anymore, but what would it take for him to think I care? To set my family and my life on fire, forsake all, and follow him.

        • What fathers do. What life does. Make demands. Unfair judgments. Unreasonable expectations. How I became me.

          The one lesson you don’t appear to get. You’re linked to me because you are linked to me. Nobody’s looking or commenting at Johnny’s Garage, but you should. The Wanted post is one you need. We none of us choose. We are chosen. Arbitrarily it seems.

          You think you wanted an ordinary life, safe, free of conflict, full of happy moments. But you were wrong. You always wanted THIS, to be challenged and chivvied and driven by the best you could imagine. You have it. Time to stop complaining.

          You have a seat in the big game. Hardly anybody ever gets that. Think about it.

          And beating up on my wife is a no no. Don’t do it again, grasshopper.

          • Hard words for hard times, but what I needed. It was a serendicitous day in that respect. I’ll have to tell you.

            I’ll comment over at the garage, but the comment system is bloody awful — logins and verify codes, we’ll have to fix that.

            I’m sorry, Alfa, I shouldn’t have said what I said. Forgive me.

  3. I’m not “resting.” There will be a new site. The Garage is where I will speak my mind, but there’s work to be done and I will do it. Just not in the coffee room this place has become.

    At 36 years old? A funny reference. I had a successful consulting firm in Ohio. That’s almost the exact time I gave my big desk on the plush green carpet with the paneled walls to someone else and moved across the hall to a small sterile room with white sheetrock walls and a computer. Where I finished The Boomer Bible. Without me, the firm crashed and burned. One of the partners most hurt by my writing passion and business withdrawal bailed me out of the exhausted collapse following the completion of the book and did all the proofreading for me, including checking every entry of the ICR.

    Does that help you place me in time?

    • It does, and you must know that your words about leaving all of this really have gotten through to me, believe it or not. My heart is in leaving now, not staying. But I MUST do right by my family, I must be responsible and do this the right way. Be a man, right?

      This place is not my permanent home, and I’ve already started the process of looking for something new. It won’t be by this summer or even next year, but I will be getting out. Far from being vain about it, my new position is my ticket out of here. I hope that my next phase will be more in line with what you were hoping for from my life.

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