American Upskirt

"Over in the meadow in a nest in the sun Lived an old mother beaver and her little beaver one Beave said the mother/ We beave said the one So they beaved all day by the light of the sun"

Over in the meadow in a nest in the sun
Lived an old mother beaver and her little beaver one
Beave said the mother/ We beave said the one
So they beaved all day by the light of the sun”

When did we become the laughingstock of the world? Was it when we elected a president who thought our bravest heroes were called the ‘Marine Corpse’? Or did it start long before that? Survey says:

When Newsweek set 1,000 Americans the challenge of completing their country’s citizenship test, 29 percent could not name the current vice president (Joe Biden), and almost three quarters could not correctly say why America fought the Cold War.

Six per cent could not remember the date of Independence Day.
A blind telephone survey of over 1,000 Americans, carried out by the McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum (a museum dedicated to the first amendment), found that more Americans could identify more members of the Simpsons cartoon family than first amendment rights.

Maybe that explains why New Jersey state legislators think they have the power to rename the Sea of Japan.

Did the Garden State legalize recreational pot use and I just missed the story? The initiative was apparently pushed by a “large and politically active Korean-American community.” It seems that they find the name racist, offensive or something of that sort. But it seems to skip over the question of exactly how the New Jersey legislature determined that it had the authority to rename a body of water on the opposite side of the planet. Frankly, I’m not sure they’d have the duly vested power to rename Barnegat Bay. I don’t even know if there’s any sort of recognized process to do this at all, since most of the names of bodies of open salt water have been around since the earliest days of sailing ships.

Or, maybe, they just thought we’d all be too distracted to notice on account of how in love we are with Mylie Cyrus, our new American Sweetheart.

A giant tongue slide, a marijuana leaf leotard and crotch grabbing: Miley Cyrus kicks off her Bangerz tour with VERY raunchy performance

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Her tongue has gotten so much press it should have its own PR agent and management team.

And in an overt nod to her infamous tongue wagging antics, Miley Cyrus opened her Bangerz tour by sliding out of a giant replica of her own mouth on a pink slide.

The 21-year-old kicked off the tour in Vancouver, Canada, on Friday by wearing a marijuana leaf leotard whilst performing her now predictable raunchy antics such as crotch grabbing and derrière waggling.

Riding the hood of a car, the Wrecking Ball singer spread eagled her legs as she dropped her microphone over her crotch in a racy dance portion of the show…

But Miley actually has big hopes for her tour, telling MTV last month: ‘I hope people open their minds and they look at my tour as something that I do feel is educational for kids.

‘Because I think a lot of people aren’t exposed to art enough and that’s something that I had to learn about.’

"So they beaved all day in the light of the sun."

“So they beaved all day in the light of the sun.”

Of course, it’s also possible that the problem of the Tea Party’s racism against women is just getting everybody’s panties in a twist.

“I think they’re racist against blacks, Hispanics… I think they’re racist against women.”

Only, why would we be like that? We’re not stupid or anything. If we were like racist against women, we wouldn’t be able to look up their skirt. Duh. Which we have been for practically forever and are sooooo grateful that it’s so much easier to do now.

"Down in the meadow..."


Down in the meadow…” She knew how to sing for children too, not just for slobs.

Hell. I’m thinking even Marilyn knew who the Vice President was. LBJ looked up every skirt he ever saw. But in those days there was something worth looking at. Now where are we? Hell.

3 thoughts on “American Upskirt

  1. Wow, as I scrolled down, the hits just kept on coming! Thanks for the NSFW warning, it was well-timed.

    “‘Because I think a lot of people aren’t exposed to art enough and that’s something that I had to learn about.’” You’ve written about Miley before, and I’m still trying to figure out what or who has gotten into her. This seems several steps beyond acting out after having to be the wholesome teen act. She’s trying to outdo all of her predecessors, from Britney all the way back to Madonna. Who is pulling the strings? Can this be the real Miley? Most of the girls at my school who loved her growing up have turned their backs on her. Yet they still try to get away with wearing only tights to school…

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