He is not who you think. He is my friend. He loves me all the time unless I eat Mommy’s slipper. Which I do only when I forget I’m not supposed to.

Does he spank me? What is spank? He swats my rear end. Is that spank? Oh. Guess he does. But he is my friend.

Maybe you don’t want him mad. Just saying. He gets a look in his eye and I go lie down. Usually after he says, “LIE DOWN!” Maybe you should all lie down when he gets that look in his eye. Just saying.