I have queued up three titles: the Ascendancy of Women I, II, and III.
Short circuiting all that. Part I was supposed to be the sickly performance of Laura Ingraham on her talk radio show. Creature of the inside the beltway crowd. She dissed Charles Krauthammer by telling him he was flat-out wrong for disputing her theory that Jeb Bush would be the 2016 Republican nominee. Odd. You could actually hear him adjusting downward his appraisal of her intelligence.
Then (Part II) I was going to highlight Ingraham’s love-love interview with David Gregory’s wife, Clare Shipman (compound conflict of interest never mentioned), wherein Shipman asseverated that women lack confidence because they crayon inside the lines and never learn that taking risks is part of the success game. The worry wart of their brains is also bigger. Aw. Except that, contradictorily, as a woman you also have to learn to defy your kinder, better instincts and accept risk, because that’s what testosterone does for men. Like some drug that distorts appropriate perception. Especially in white men. Life would be better if women were in charge.
Why, no doubt, Ingraham said, “Does this mean we women are better?” Answer: “Yes. We have better values.”
The female advantage? Caution. Empathy. And, uh, rumination.
Excuse me. Rumination? Shipman said men in her studies show men don’t ruminate as much. Like Kant, Freud, Jung, Einstein, Buddha, and Jesus? Yeah we don’t talk as much. Some — not all of us — are thinking. Which women show few signs of doing except when men are watching.
Here’s the sad thing. Legal education is almost completely about crayons not being inside the lines. Why all truly great attorneys are on the defense, and all women are ‘former federal prosecutors.’ The many many women who now have law degrees can never understand male minds. Which are not about worrying, nurturing, or any of the other female virtues but piercing through to the infinite. Which has never interested women. Why women, who congratulate themselves endlessly on being superior, have no idea.
Why we’re not still in caves living hand to mouth. Why Stonehenge got built. Why the pyramids got built. According to Clare Shipman and Laura Ingraham, superior female nurturing would have resulted in more empathy, fewer wars, and the traditionally virtuous 30 year life span. Which would beat menopause, n’est-ce pas? And all those hot flashes.
If only men were better behaved…
Let my wife tell you about the superiority of women. She’ll set you straight. Women are the dude, man!
Corporate has been heavily pushing an agenda of “local service” or something this year. Why? I don’t know. Maybe for some tax breaks. Business is certainly not booming like it used to be. Anyway, a cabal of women has taken the whole thing over and hit the ground running. There’s no official requirement for anyone to partake in any of the charitable activities (…YET! *dun, dun, dunnnn*) but every time one is coming up, the ringleader won’t shut up about it.
So far these things consist of walks and donating shampoo the homeless. All the pointless, feelgood shit we’ve grown accustomed to lately. Whenever they go around asking for volunteers, the eighth time I’m asked I very much want to say, “Seriously. Fuck off.” but that wouldn’t be professional.
The latest thing is a company shirt everyone got for some reason, even people who haven’t signed up to participate in anything. Since the women designed it (with no input from anyone else) it’s pink. I told them I don’t know why they got one for me, b/c I’m not wearing a pink shirt. Then it turned into “a thing” about how “real men wear pink”. Yeah, maybe. More likely is that “real women” are a bunch of conniving harpies enjoying a joke about all the pussy men in the office too cowed to refuse to wear a gay pink shirt.
So thanks again, NFL. Your month of pink bullshit has emboldened women across the nation to see how many more of us they can emasculate. Can’t wait for the “suck a cock for cancer awareness” event.