Everybody in Washington is gray and brown and kind of melted. Blondes tend to be individual because bold and not easily controlled. Why there has never been a blonde president before. (You could look it up.) Maybe why they hate him so. Think about it. Never a blonde president. Not once. Outrageous. They make jokes about us. Especially about our womenfolk, who can’t help how they are. We are compelled to call this bias “blondism.”

In the movies (why?), blondes are always stereotypes, of good, evil, astonishing physical beauty and bravery, and cunning, and intelligence despite their low IQs, and the really fine looking breasts of our wives, and, well, always winning in the end.

The fastest gun. 

The saddest man.

The scariest, meaning the really truly scariest..

The nightmare. Why you can’t sleep.

The best of the best and the worst of the worst. Take it from me, Peter O’Toole was blond.
Yeah. They’re always the ones you think of in supernatural terms, as opposed to Martin Scorsese’s beaten up Booklynites. What’s the difference? Ultimate hero, ultimate villain, ultimate boy toy, ultimate piece of ass. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue wouldn’t exist without blondes. You know it and I know it. And then there are the blonde men: Robert Redford, Brad Pitt, James Dean, Thor, and such. Sometimes shining, sometimes doomed. The best and the worst. Why the whole world watches.
Yeah. They’re almost always the villains these days. Heroes back then. But villain parts are way more fun to play. Blonde hair = evil. I c’n do that. Who dat who wanna play? Evil be da fun game.

Even, well, especially, the women.
Lana Turner.

Her movies were almost as salacious as her life.
 Veronica Lake.

  4′ 10″ and and a fall of blonde hair.
 Grace Kelly.

I was there when she was there but I fell in love with Edith Sanski at Menton instead..

Kim Novak

She was the only woman who was a Nemesis for James Stewart.

Everybody knows that blonds still rule everything. They don’t like it. Blonds don’t seek it. They’re content to have incredibly awful jokes told about them. Truth is, everybody wants to be a blond.

Until the guy who put five bullets in your blond back thinks he should give you one more.

Eastwood used to be blonde. So did I. We got so discriminated for it. All we can say is, Blonde Lives Matter.

btw, you think Clint’s cold? Try Fred.

Those brown haired guys are blondists like you wouldn’t believe.





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