Can’t tell you how much I hate them. Gutter life, disgusting, and what kind of male moron would think a tiny splinter of wood would make him seem more masculine? Wasn’t the term pencil dick coined for a reason? But here they all are. Lame, lost, and low class.

Actually, the only thing worse than the toothpick is the match.

Then there’s the girl. Herself.

Eloise. Pretty much a force of nature.

So there was a long dialogue between Eloise and Philip the Tutor. I couldn’t find it word for word, but here’s what I rememember. Which accords exactly with what I recall with our own Eloise.

Philip: “That’ll be enough Eloise.”

Eloise: “That’ll be enough Eloise.”

Philip: “Stop it Eloise.”

Eloise: “Stop it, Eloise.”

Philip: “I mean it, Eloise.”

Eloise: “I mean it Eloise.”

Philip: “I’m not kidding Eloise.”

Eloise: “I’m not kidding Eloise.”

And he only went to Andover.

Which one is Eloise?

That will absolutely be enough Eloise.

We’re not talking about good looking here. James Stewart and Henry Fonda and Glenn Ford were good looking. But they weren’t beautiful. Beauty is the Rara Avis. Only a handful of men and women started out beautiful and also had the talent to have amazing acting careers. The elect of the elect. This is their post. Agreed on by my wife and me. Both with veto power. One basket for men, one for women. Brutal, absolute, and unarguable.

And then the other basket. The women. You knew who the men were. But do you know who these women are?

Beauty is not the answer. It’s the question. How did all of these people become fine actors in spite of gifts that should have made them immune from discipline, accomplishment, and dignity?