Feelmalez

from "The Zeezer Bible,"
A work included in Shuteye Town, 1999:

The Book of

a.ka. the Second Book of the Chozen

Feelmalez are really cool,
2 Because they have boobz,
3 And ballz too,
4 Even if they don’t.

And that’s not all either.
2 Because feelmalez can mostly read,
3 Or anyhow they can read better than the boyz can,
4   which is not much,
5   Because who needs it,
6   Exept for feelmalez,
7   Who are all going to college and law school and have their own TV show,
8   Aren’t they?

The thing about feelmalez is they’re not only smarter,
2 But they’re not as violent too,
3 Because they don’t beat the crap out of their girlfriend,
4 At least not as much as boyz do,
5 Even if they do it more than they use to,
6 Because no body can say that feelmalez don’t have ballz,
7 Even if they don’t.

But the thing is, they’re more caring,
2 And, like, they know about the enviroment,
3 And you can have sex with them too,
4 If you want to,
5 If you have a condom.

There was a time,
2 Wasn’t there,
3 When feelmalez didn’t use to be allowed to do what they wanted?
4 And so they weren’t allowed to have ballz,
5   Or sex,
6   And they had to pretend they couldn’t read or do math or be a killer loyer,
7   Which was a big lie,
8   And so they all had to stay home,
9   And be moms,
10 Because there wasn’t any day care,
11 While their husband went off to work and came home and beat the crap out of them,
12 And made them have babies,
13 Even if they wanted an abortion instead,
14 Which they mostly didn’t,
15 Because back then they didn’t have the ballz to admit it.

And probly things will keep changing for feelmalez,
2 And getting better,
3 Like how they can get as smart as they want to,
4 And as loud as they want to,
5 And as big as they want to,
6 And as horny as they want to,
7 So maybe they’ll even get to be rapists and football players and all the old male jobs,
8 Which will be fine,
9 Probly,
10 As long as they still have boobz,
11 To go along with their ballz,
12 Which are really really cool,
13 Aren’t they?