Life must go on, and who better than stylish living guru Marta Stewart to show us how to negotiate the transition from fat and happy to fat and paranoid? Her Christmas issue is chock full of 'new good things' designed expressly for the Different Wurld we've moved into: majestic wreaths for your front door featuring dried pomegranates that squirt mace and pine cones studded with miniature surveillance cameras; updated chateleines (worn around the neck) which are stocked with antibiotics, lockpicks (for escaping from collapsing buildings), and a deafening siren the size of a lipstick; and a nifty vacuum pump capable of packing a week's worth of female clothing, cosmetics, candy, and accessories into a carry-on the size of an evening bag. The cover story's a humdinger too. Marta reveals how a hazmat suit can be made festive and fun for the traditional chore of opening Christmas cards that arrive through the mail. It's all waiting for you on newsstands now.