This will probably wind up being a long list. I’ve lived a long time and a lot of what I once knew isn’t true. But I can start here and chip away at it in between the other more spectacular things that tend to preoccupy us. They’re not all big glamorous things.
For example, as an American who has traveled extensively abroad and eaten at some truly fine restaurants, I’ve learned what the four basic food groups are.
1. Hamburgers with onions and ketchup. Variations are okay, but they should never make us lose sight of the staple you order late at night with friends in one of the old time diners. With fries and a coke unless you’d prefer a milkshake.
2. Submarine sandwiches, a.k.a. hoagies, hero sandwiches, torpedoes, souvlakis, grinders, etc. Vegetables are present but only in a supporting role to cheese, capacolla, salami, tuna, lamb, poultry, and beefsteak. Every nation has at least one version, and we have them all. Why it’s called American exceptionalism.
3. Pasta that isn’t chewy. Forget the tortellini crap. It’s the fundamental ingredient of so much, whether the sauce is marinara, Alfredo, or soy, and whether the dish involves meatballs, chicken, seafood, or stir fried vegetables. Pasta makes the food world go round.
4. Family style holiday or celebratory dinners. Not supposed to be healthy for you. Turkey with all the trimmings at Thanksgiving and Christmas, lobster and champagne at New Years, ham and asparagus at Easter, pizza on prom night, fried rice and dumplings after the big exam, hot dogs and corn on the cob on Independence Day, fried chicken or grilled steaks and peach ice cream on Labor Day, Eggs Benedict on your honeymoon, filet mignon and baked potatoes with sour cream on your birthday, fish on Friday, and pot roast after church on Sunday. These were never believed to hurt people when we still thought family was something other than a dysfunctional curse. Look how far we’ve come down the road of making the ineffable unspeakable. Actually, these are the best foods there are, and the best for you too. Think of the smiles. Throw in some wine and beer and all is right with the world.
You see, being retired, I don’t have to make an argument to prove what I’ve learned. I’ve learned it, that’s all.
As I suggested, the list will get longer. A lot longer. A teaser: Old friends are the best friends. Really? The evidence that this is nonsense extends into infinity. But right now my dog is barking to come in from his afternoon romp.
We’ll take this up another time.
“Actually, these are the best foods there are, and the best for you too. Think of the smiles. Throw in some wine and beer and all is right with the world.” Amen!
Your basic food groups are making me incredibly hungry right now! But can you also tell us about the rare dishes you’ve had, the memorable ones, the perfect dishes that made for perfect nights? I’ve traveled a bit and have had some incredible meals, especially in France, Antigua, and right here in my CT town.