I really really loved him.

Jodi Arias. She’s crazy.

I have no idea what happened, except that I didn’t do anything.

Amanda Knox. She’s dumb as a box of rocks.

I thought I, uh, was thinking. My mistake. Actually, I was blotto.

Ojay. Heeey, everybody. I’m still here. I did it. Not that. But something.

Thought it was time to do some real reporting for a change. It’s my duty and privilege to serve my readers. I know I’m not Nancy Grace, but I’ll show you what she won’t: her wardrobe malfunction. Now who’s your go to tabloid court reporter? Exactly.