Even smart people have stereotypes.

Not starting a fight here. Jonah Goldberg is a clever guy and a good writer. But he doesn’t like the response to the cat beats dog video.

I have breaking news!

My dog is quietly sleeping on the couch! That’s right, she is a warm puddle of furriness. Earlier this morning she rubbed up against me and asked me to feed her. Even weirder, when I asked her to sit, she didn’t. She just stared at me as if I owed her money.

My only regret is I don’t have video of this amazing activity. For if I did, I’m sure The Today Show and Good Morning America would lead with it.

I can only reach that conclusion given the global hysteria over a cat that attacked a dog that was attacking a small boy. What I mean is, if one cat out of a billion acts like your typical dog, surely when a dog acts like a typical cat, it should also be big news.

Of course, that wouldn’t happen. Why? Because we expect dogs to be dogs. Not all dogs are heroes, of course. Not all dogs follow commands. Some dogs even do bad things, like attack little kids in the driveway. But these are exceptions to our expectations. Every day some dog somewhere protects a member of his family. Every day a dog does amazing things when asked. Every day millions of dogs do less-than-amazing things like sitting or fetching or rolling over.

But here’s the thing: When a cat does it — BOOM — everyone applauds like finish-line huggers at the Special Olympics. Put a video of a cat fetching a ball up on YouTube and it will rack up views like notches on Bill Clinton’s headboard.

This hero cat is a celebrity now for doing exactly what you’d expect of a family dog.

You know what this is, right? It’s the celebrifying bigotry of low expectations.

I don’t mind giving this cat her due, though who among us doubts that her motives could have been less than pure? Maybe the boy was her protein-rich “rainy day fund” as it were, “Hey Dog, I’m saving the bald baby monkey for later!” Maybe the dog and the cat worked out this whole stunt in advance to make her look good. Who knows?

All I ask is you see things through canine eyes for a minute. How would you feel if you saw this fawning coverage of a cat doing a dog’s job as proof that “cats rule and dogs drool,” as Sally Kohn put it? It’s the story of the prodigal son all over. Dogs do the hard work of being mankind’s wing-mammal in this world, and all it takes for everyone to gush over cats is one (alleged) instance of feline heroism?

Read the whole thing. It’s pretty funny. But it’s also wrong. What he leaves out is that species do interact. People have made arguments that human civilization begins with the domestication of the dog. Co-evolution they call it. Dogs simplified hunting. Humans had more time to sit on their ass and think. Dogs were waiting for air-conditioning and McDonalds. Their patience was rewarded.

Also possible that humans learned altruism from dogs. Where else do you see a being willing to die for you with no possibility of an ulterior motive?

Cats are considered exempt from the dog-human bond. That’s just prejudice, even bigotry. If humans can learn from dogs, so can cats. Why I talked about the phenomenon I’ve lived that could be called dog-cat packs. Cats aren’t stupid because they don’t obey commands. They just don’t like commands.

Lots of the supposedly lower animals are smart. Dogs learn English words, sometimes hundreds of them. Cats learn tens of them, but they still have emotional intelligence. Crows and ravens learn no English words but they learn our faces and our rhythms and how to exploit our technological civilization. I won’t even get into the genius of rats and squirrels and pigeons, and raptors. We are surrounded by intelligence, by deep emotion, by the consciousness of the universe.

Should I be talking instead about the VA scandal or the lame speeches at the 9/11 Museum dedication? Well, how the hell would I know? Your silence is driving me to silence. I’m thinking I’ll hear another evocative Raebert groan before I hear from the crushed multitudes of the Obama Pogrom.

Suit yourselves. Grrrr.

By all means go gentle into that good night.

One thing cats have over dogs. Cats never submit. The smartest ones I know are nervous now.