From the Pages of:

The Nutz Station Journal
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December 28, 2001

mr. nobody
Does this strike anybody else as suspicious? Just asking.

        I'm really not trying to cause any trouble here, or hurt anybody's feelings. And I'm not saying that the victims of the WTC disaster don't deserve to retire forever forever in luxury at taxpayer expense. And I don't mean to imply that there's anything venal or unattractive about the way WTC families are lining up, flanked by teams of lawyers, to declare that the millions budgeted for their grief are insufficient. And I would never suggest that spreading so much money on the table might represent some kind of temptation to certain people to do something wrong.
       But I did happen to see Winnie Baggle and her daughter Maxine on the local news channel yesterday. They were leaving for Florda after discovering just a few days ago that Marvin Baggle--Winnie's husband and Maxine's father--had just been found dead at Ground Zero, even though his Bronks neighbors claimed they'd seen him as recently as December 23rd.
       On the news, Winnie and Maxine were loading their $1.6 million in federal grief compensation into the back of a new Rolls Roice. They were very sad about Marvin's death, and they said so. And I'm sure that a mere $1.6 million won't ever be enough to remove the pain of their loss. Also, I'm impressed by the fact that they haven't hired an attorney to demand more than the $1.6 million they showed up to collect 25 minutes after they heard about the discovery of Marvin's perfectly preserved body.
      It's just that, and I really really am not making any kind of larger point here, please understand me, but I can't help thinking that when you combine sudden death with huge monetary payouts, then...
      Forget it. I'm not saying anything. I didn't mean anything by what I said already. I really didn't. I hope it all works out for Winnie and Maxine and the other victims. I hope they have a wonderful and prosperous New Year. And as Happy a New Year as possible, considering.
     Okay?