Let’s do it. The Rand Creed.

The Brizene Creed. Don't parse. I'm just smarter than you. Get used to it.

The Brizene Creed. Don’t parse. I’m just smarter than you. Get used to it. Well, yeah. HER creed too. We’re so hot together you wouldn’t believe it. “I love idiots with hard-ons,” she says. Love her to death. Except that Ayn Rand IS stone cold dead.

I believe in myself absolutely, alone and without resort. I believe in no father, no creator, no savior, no designer of earth.

I am therefore entitled to tell others what to believe, since there is nothing to believe, and I might as well be the one to make it up for them.

This is obviously the right way to go, me being the one to tell everyone else how to live, since morals are implicit in the essential logic of the universe. Have you read my explanation of the exact month and week it’s okay to commit abortions up to? It’s brilliant. I’m Brizoni and I have looked into the void of existence and I know there’s no God.

Let me start again. I am Brizoni. There is no God. I am happy. I am happy. I am happy, god damn you.

I am Brizoni. I’d be happier if all of you would give up your superstitious, bullshit beliefs. Especially the ones who know ten times about history what I do. Because only I know how derelict, empty, and awful your beliefs are in the context of history I’ve never had the time or inclination to learn.

I am Brizoni. I know fucking everything. I read a book once. She was hot. I imagine myself fucking Dagny on a rail car right before we fly away from the dying lights of New York and watch the civilization you fools cling to fade, fade away into the dark.

I am Brizoni. I am Atlas. I am shrugging. You’re all idiots.

I am Brizoni. I am the fountainhead of a new birth of civilization. I am the entire replacement for what you all yearn for in a God. Because I can explain everything, and I once wrote an essay about it that convinced me. QED. Hell, if you can convince me, you’re hot shit.

I am Brizoni. Why wouldn’t that ever be enough for anybody?

Amen.

David Frost

He wasn't what you'd call an "eminence grise"  of journalism.

He wasn’t what you’d call an “eminence grise” of journalism.

The post I wanted to do when I started this morning. Felt I had to dispose of Syria first, which I’ve done more briefly and effectively than the million words I’ve seen written so far. And then there was the (dud) Brizoni underwear bomb, which also had to be dealt with.

Sigh.

Back to David Frost. He’s dead. An opportunity for consideration of the frailties of both cultural and personal memory. Isn’t that more interesting than pounding punditry about the farce American foreign policy has become?

His American obits focused exclusively on his interviews of Richard Nixon, as if that’s what should be engraved on his tombstone. What I remembered too. There was a movie with Anthony Hopkins playing Nixon and someone else playing Frost, and all I knew from the fact of having lived through it was that the movie was a hagiographic fake — of Frost, not Nixon, obviously. And I resented it. A resentment conferred unfairly on Frost in retrospect, in fact vicariously.

Which means that for all my hyper consciousness about the duplicity of the MSM, I am still prey to what the MSM do and by no means immune to their packaging of reality.

[I haven’t looked up his bio because I’m trying to remember what I can remember, not fit memories to facts I never had. Although I’ll make a partial exception later.]

Part of my resentment was that I remembered Frost as a particularly stereotypical Brit presenter. Lower class London accent spiffed up to include concluding T’s and the otherwise missing ends of words generally. Always thought Steve Coogan’s brilliantly cruel spoof of the type in his “Alan Partridge” incarnation was largely if not wholly inspired by David Frost:

Sorry. For a long time Frost had a talk show aired in the United States. He was the Jon Gruden of talk show hosts. Every guest was the greatest, most talented, most wonderful light ever to shine on the celebrity stage. Then, suddenly, when he too had long disappeared from public view (like Alan Partridge), there he was talking oh so earnestly to Richard Nixon with the same clipboard he’d always had to remind him where he was and who he was talking to (usually Marlo Thomas. Fan-TAS-tic!). When did he become Cronkite, Severaid, Brinkley, Murrow, or Lowell Thomas? When it served the purpose of the MSM, that’s when.

Case closed. I revisited my Jon Gruden circus act.

My wife just wanted, quite understandably, to watch a football game without having the experience ruined by her husband. I plead guilty with extenuating circumstances. My impersonation of Jon Gruden is spot on, and most of you would enjoy a few minutes of it, as did my wife the first time she heard it. I draw on my knowledge of the dactylic nature of glossolalia (“speaking in tongues”) to imbue my performance with satiric cruelty, which amuses the performer no end and ultimately bores the listener into a coma because once started — just like glossolalia — it just keeps going, impossible to stop.

One can become formulaic in one's view.

One can become formulaic in one’s views.

What I remember. The incantational rhetoric of David Frost. Never gave him a second thought. Just another partridge on the wing, flapping rhythmically.

Frost with Nixon was a reason to dismiss a whole life. Which I did when I heard he was dead on the move at the age of 74.

And I was wrong. Not just for what I didn’t know. But for what I’d forgotten. That’s the most discomfiting thing. I knew there was more to David Frost. It was the first thing I’d ever known about him. And I forgot it.

When I was a kid, my dad couldn’t watch the news on TV. Three networks, giant egos pontificating and slanting the news leftward on each. So serious, so sure, so pompously, stultifyingly final. He had only two outlets. a fifteen minute broadcast once a week by Fulton J. Lewis. Which I’ve remembered before. And, when it came along on Channel 12, a bizarre news satire from Britain called “That Was the Week That Was.”

This was actually the first time that the edifice of television news had ever been mocked. Fifty years before there was Jon Stewart, there was TWTWTW, and my dad was a fan. They made fun of everyone, left and right, but my dad loved it anyway because they were puncturing the balloon of swollen journalistic egos. It was finally okay to laugh.

I remembered that because my personal memory is so searching and comprehensive that I couldn’t not remember it. Horseshit. I forgot it until I chanced to see a Monty Python documentary this morning, part one of six, called “The Not Very Interesting Beginnings.” Of the Monty Python troupe in case you were still wondering. I’m not even going to claim serendicity. I think the IFC network knew they were adding a timely bit of biography to a skewed and truncated obit of David Frost.


They go on. And on. They converge on a tosser named David Frost, the negligible commoner who finally put them all together. Go figure.

If so, I thank them. I got it. Without the money-grubbing, nonjournalist, low class opportunist named David Frost, there would never have been a Monty Python Flying Circus. Its upper-upper class cast of three from Cambridge, two from Oxford, and one from America’s boutique Occidental College would never have had the opportunity to write together, gell into a primal cultural force, and knock over every lamp in western civilization’s hotel room.

The sad thing, the truly saddest thing, is that they have no comedic heirs. Comedians today are following their fancied lead, but they are knocking down what has already been knocked down. Now they are trampling on ruins.

We need a new Monty Python. Unafraid to take on political correctness, the nanny state, and glowering totaliarianism. Which means, maybe, we also need a new David Frost to find and unleash that kind of talent on the status quo. Is that why the MSM fail to remember the truly glorious contribution he made? Or are they just too damn dumb to know what happened way back when? I know where my bet is placed. You?

So, God bless David Frost. I will say what I should have said a day ago: Good man. I will miss you.

Just a friendly warning…

Poor sonofabitch. His Rand called him home way too young.

Poor sonofabitch. His Rand called him home way too young.

Brizoni has inserted a comment on an earlier post. He picks up right where he left off.

Some may be tempted to engage him, and you are welcome to do so. I do not begrudge the comment space. Just be advised that even after all these months of stony silence, he is just as rigid, scornful, patronizing, and hypocritical as he was when last when we heard from him.

Hypocritical? Indeed. He has always had the keys to Instapunk. If he were working to save the world as he indicts us for failing to do… If he had a case to make beyond fire and brimstone sermons against those who have not converted to his monolithically Old Testament commandments on the nature of reality… If he had any power whatsoever left to communicate rather than condemn… We would have seen him mount the empty pulpit that had a built-in audience of those whom he needs most, the politically like minded who still don’t get why we must be God-haters to defeat the God-haters who are carrying our country, or culture, and our civilization into ruin.

But he’s been a silent boy.

All I’m saying is, choose your battles wisely. Frequently, the prodigal who returns still needs a lesson. But are you and I obligated to be the ones to provide it?

S-Y-R-I-A

Lining up a shot across the bow. F-O-R-E, Fore!

Lining up a shot across the bow. F-O-R-E Fore! You dumb? “Fore” means get out the way of my mighty putter.

With apologies to the band Them and their great one-hit wonder.

Like to tell ya about my line
You know it’s red all right
It’s dotted all along
And maybe not too bright

There’s a country that did wrong
By crossing my line
She used those chem weapons
She screwed my tee time

And her name is S-Y-R-I–
S-Y-R-I-A, Syria
S-Y-R-I-A, Syria
I’m gonna bomb her today (SYRIA)
I’m gonna bomb her tonight (SYRIA)
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah

She’s jinxing my sand wedge
She’s losing my balls
Hell, she pissing me off, Joe,
And tanking my polls.

Comes a-stomping on the greens
As I’m sighting a birdie
When my line is laid dead
She walks right through the dots
Yeah, she makes me see red

S-Y-R-I-A, Syria
S-Y-R-I-A, Syria
I’m gonna bomb her today (SYRIA)
I’m gonna bomb her tonight (SYRIA)
Yeah-yeah-yeah-OH NO
Let the Congress decide. Syria.
(Dropped my club in a bunker) Syria.

Sorry about the “one-hit wonder” thing. I know it was Van Morrison’s song and band. I was thinking about someone else. Someone in particular.

Rita

Just ask her to bend over her desk and see what happens.

Just ask her to bend over her desk and see what happens.

Strangest show my wife and I have ever seen. It’s all on her btw. She likes the Scandinavian shows on Netflix. Things I can’t watch and one I could. (Annika!) She loves the slow, turgid plots, the incomprehensible back stories, the utter lack of action of any kind, the pretend ascendancy of women in the administrative and management roles, the Germanic coldness of the sets, and the good looks of most of the men. Unless it’s all about the good looks of the men and her facility at reading subtitles, which far surpasses mine. “What did Annika say right before she whipped off her top?” And then she gives me the look we all know, which says you’re old enough to read subtitles by yourself. Sorry. For my most of my life, I avoided Ingemar Bergman films because I thought she should have left Casablanca with Humphrey Bogart and I was aggrieved.

Anyhow. I keep scouting new Scandinavian dishes for her TV palate. I found one called “Rita.” She’s a middle school teacher in Denmark, available on Netflix and to every male who notices her sprayed on jeans.

Surprise! Unlike other Scandinavians, she’s blonde, beautiful, and impossible to guess as to age.

She has three children approaching adulthood, but that doesn’t stop her from having ferocious sex with the dimwit principal, who loves her and can’t get past fourth base with her. She’s not interested in relationships. But she does like the word ‘Fuck,’ which sounds and means pretty much like it does in our country.

She also hates her mother. And the controlling bitch of a teacher she reports to.

Who she blows off all the time because her blonde bombshell daughter is an idiot, her oldest son is about to marry a shrew and her youngest son is gay but refusing to admit it.

Did I mention that the show is a comedy? With frequent softcore porn interludes. I mean, she’s a good teacher, but she’s horny as a mink. And her school looks like an Ikea experiment gone wrong.

Yeah, I know. It kind of sounds like an American sitcom, except for the frantic sex in the men’s room. But it isn’t like that at all. It’s actually kind of endearing.

Why? There’s no leering, wink-wink nudge-nudge element that makes all American sitcoms unwatchable. Not every character is trying to be smarter and bitchier than every other. Not every minute is a punchline building like a giant fart.

It’s, uh, refreshing. Not 22 minutes but most of an hour. We’re so old that Hollywood sex scenes just annoy us with their loopy-goopy gauzy romanticism. Not that we’re prudes. Just not into gauzy anymore. Rita is into plain old fucking. Which gets tiresome in a hurry, but the scenes don’t last long and there’s no tinkly-dinkly music.

And here’s the real difference between this show and American sitcoms. You kind of like her.

Flawed, difficult, a bit of a slut, but good at her job, which is teaching. Which she defines as “protecting kids from what their parents do to them.” The bureaucrats dislike her for that. We tend to like her for it.

“Low information intellectuals”

I did a search for "dolts with glasses." This is what came up.

I did a search for “dolts with glasses.” This is what came up.

Yesterday, I wrote:

They [the left] may have succeeded in creating a horrifying generation of “low information voters,” but they’ve become something worse — “low information intellectuals.” The professors who set about creating a proletariat of parrots did it to their own as well.

When you stop teaching history, facts, writing, and analytical skills to schoolchildren, you have nobbled your own heirs too. Today’s mighty Ivy liberals know nothing of their own history or of western civilization’s. They know how to attack someone else’s argument with monolithic cant and vile abuse, but they can’t construct an argument of their own to save their lives. They have absorbed an impression of history their didact tutors insisted on, but they have no power left to critique any idea, let alone the ideology they embody without appreciating that belief is a thing to be first understood and, second, defended with the power of reason and fact.

 

They are destitute. Credentialed retards in charge of the body politic…

So, this morning, proof positive of my point shows up right on cue. Three Los Angeles Times reporters shared a byline on a story covering the Martin Luther King celebrations. Which prompted NewsBusters to chortle:

Memo to the Corrections Department at the Los Angeles Times: The following sentence is utterly unhistorical. “Since Democrats led the passage of civil rights legislation that marchers pushed for in 1963, Republicans have struggled to recover with black voters.”

 

Civil rights legislation of the 1960s was favored more by Republicans than by Democrats, so how did Democrats “lead the passage”? With three reporters contributing to the story – Kathleen Hennessey, Richard Simon, and Alexei Koseff – none of them could locate the actual Sixties voting record as they labored to make the GOP look bad for the Democratic unanimity of the event…

NewsBusters seemed to assume we all knew how ridiculous that statement was. Columnist Larry Elder researched the facts, which as reported by Malkin, are:

Only 64 percent of Democrats in Congress voted for the 1964 Civil Rights Act (153 for, 91 against in the House; and 46 for, 21 against in the Senate). But 80 percent of Republicans (136 for, 35 against in the House; and 27 for, 6 against in the Senate) voted for the 1964 Act.

Wikipedia, which has been known on occasion to get its facts right, has the same numbers.

btw, I’m not claiming prescience here. This kind of arrogant ignorance is an almost daily phenomenon in the MSM. For example, here’s a cute story about one of MSNBC’s bright young anchors. She knows just enough about Joe McCarthy to compare Ted Cruz to him. What she doesn’t know is that Alger Hiss and the Rosenbergs really were Soviet spies. And so it goes.

Saddest thing is, history isn’t all the bright young things don’t know. They haven’t actually read the Bible, despite their abiding contempt for Christianity, as this fun CBS anecdote demonstrates. My guess is, they haven’t read Shakespeare either, or Milton or Blake or Dante or anything deeper than the lyrics of Bob Dylan, if they’ve even read those. Cause, you know, you can google those if you need them for anything, like maybe a piece about, uh, social justice.

They have Ivy degrees, but they don’t have Ivy educations because those aren’t being offered anymore. We live in a universe of fakes — fake knowledge, fake authority, and fake credentials.

But they don’t smoke, and some of them have killer abs and great fucking skills. What more could we ask of the generation that seeks to inherit without doing any real work?

Time Out

He's not all right. Watch my eyes.

He’s not all right. Watch my eyes.

If I were the writing sort, I’d start thinking about what’s going on at Deerhound Diary. Treating it as some kind of whole.

Oops. I am the writing sort. Maybe I shouldn’t comment on my own stuff. But I will anyway. Because I just can’t not.

In my mind it’s a whole, given that our world as we know it is ending. I value and respect our commenters, but they respond to each post as if it were distinct from others. There is no conversation. Just comments. You don’t have to respond precisely to what I say from day to day. Doesn’t anybody want to talk, to rage, about what’s happening?

When I rip off five posts in a row, as I’ve done here in a way I couldn’t at the other place, I AM asking you to put it all together, hold it all in your heads at the same time. What I did in my early writing, trying to defeat the line. Trying in fact to dynamite the line. Later, I surrendered to the line and wrote arguments not holograms.

I don’t know whether I’m effective at what I’m trying to do. You come in and say I liked that or you made me think of this similar anecdote. Which is welcome. But there’s a bigger intent here. Everything is everything. I don’t get that you all get that.

Synchronicity. Serendicity. The country is stricken. My wife has a horribly broken arm. My deerhound is traumatized. Everything is everything. As always, I am living and feeling everything at once. Is anyone else experiencing this synergy of disaster? Does anyone want to talk? Or is denial your preference, our national preference, the same one step at a time approach we see even in the new media? Life is life, politics is politics, and disgusting corruption is something we can all pretend is business as usual. You know, it’s always bad, it’s bad now, and our best defense is to be reasonable, rational, and measured in our response.

That’s not how I feel. I don’t feel like reading quotes or mild statements of agreement. I feel like reading rage, wild hope, nasty nasty indictments, the passion of the living.

I know I’m alive because I feel like I’m dying. How do you feel? Are you just factoring it all in with the help of comforting readings that tell you you understand what is happening? Is there some cultural morphine that’s dulling your pain, fear, and dread?

Or, are you like me, insanely on fire, seeing symbolism in every moment of our truly unique and desperate times?

The meaning of the deerhound: he is the life of me, the embodiment of what I once was, fierce, unstoppable, invulnerable. But he has become languid, immanent. He licks my elbow. His latent, immense force is stilled.

I am paralyzed and he knows it. I am supremely enraged and powerless to express it adequately. Not an emotion I’m used to. He looks at me with sad Scottish eyes.

Read through all the posts here, from front to back or back to front. Get a sense of the tiptoeing between private life and public catastrophe. Ken the highs and lows. Experience your own versions of same. Then talk….

Bullseye

They paint it, we'll hit it.

They paint it, we’ll hit it.

Obama War. The coolest thing ever. We tell them when and where we’ll hit, and they’ll get everything and everyone out of the way.

Then we wait for the standard fifties laugh track. You know. The long-dead laughers who knew what was worth dying for, and sometimes did it, watching the comedy of us pretending to be tough.

Of course, the same laugh track can be applied to the golf course. If, uh, you wanted to.

Everybody loves me.

Everybody loves me.

Thousand words worth of picture

He says he hates the Phillies.

He says he hates the Phillies. That’s enough to finish him in South Jersey. But read on…

There’s honesty and then there’s rotten retail politics. Chris Christie may be reelected governor, but it won’t be with the help of my vote.

I overlooked, or tried to, his obsession with Bruce Springsteen, which seemed overwrought to me. I tout the Stones, but I attended five of their concerts in 50 years. Christie went to more than a hundred shows by the Boss. Even though Springsteen is a hard lefty who ostentatiously hates all Republicans who aren’t his next door neighbors in the mansion community of Rumsen or his daughter’s coaches in thoroughbred show jumping. Huh? Okay.

Okay. I guess. But the picture gets darker. Christie goes screwy on a variety of issues. Gun control. Immigration. Federal aid. (He’s way too heavy to be hanging on the federal tit.) He sucks up to Obama right before the election. Okay. Okay.

He appears as a guest host on sports talk radio. He assaults a reporter who dared to ask hard questions of the crazed head coach of the New York Jets. Who just happens to be a personal friend of Christie’s. Conflict of interest much? But……. Okay……

Except that he also outed himself as a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Sorry. End of game. North and south, New Jersey is NFC East. North, the Giants. South, the Eagles. Yes, they hate each other, but both hate the Dallas Cowboys with a volcanic passion. Worse, they hate locals who are Cowboy fans. No end of names for who and what that particular form of scum should be called. Not kidding. It’s serious around here, from the top to the bottom of the state.

Let’s say I could overlook it personally. Forget that. (I can’t btw.) But it’s disastrously rotten retail politics. It betrays a tone deafness that will inevitably show up in other ways. Loving the Cowboys won’t do Christie in. But if he can make this kind of mistake in his home state, he will inevitably in his hubris make worse mistakes in any national campaign.

Christie is not a national candidate. He’s a flash in the pan. More precisely, he’s a fat man who doesn’t know enough not to wear white pants ANYWHERE ANYTIME.

Sad to say.

It’s OUR job to catch him at his desk.

image

We have to be persistent. He’s an important and busy man. We’d wait in the hall but since the sequester we can’t do that either. What we can do: Sit on Cspan, which is the only network willing to aim a camera at empty chairs (the senate) and wait and wait and wait for someone to show up.

He’s bound to show up. Cruise missiles and foreign targets? No president is going to do anything like that from the golf course, right? We’re not Venezuela, right?

So we’ll just sit here and wait. It will all work out. It’s our responsibility to be patient and, you know, wait. Dog Days and all that. The back nine gets so clogged in the August heat.

That Assad dude is clever playing from the bunker...

That Assad dude is clever playing from the bunker…