Afria.
It's a continent. They have lions and tigers and elephants, and Afrians
of course.
Algeria
Algerious.
One of those countries made out of sand, with people in robes and beards.
And camels. Cool.
The Amazon
The
Amazzon. Is it a river? Or a rainforest? Isn't it disappearing or something?
Something bad anyway.
Antarctica
Anartica.
It's not a nation, because nobody's from there. Is it a continent? Or a
slab of ice? Anyhow, it's way up there, where it's cold.
Angola
Angolia.
It could be in Afria, maybe in Azia.
Don't they get into a lot of trouble? or used to?
The Alps
The
Apps. They're mountains. And you can go skiing
there.
Argentina
Argetina.
It's a big country in South Ameria, where Mario
and Maria live on a big gaucho and wear big hats with drippy things
on them while they round up cattle with their dad Manuel.
The Arctic
Artica.
It's a continent next to Anartica? Where it's cold
all the time, and nobody lives there, so no nations.
Australia
Austria.
It's a continent or a nation, but
either way it's cool, because it's all the way over on the other side,
"down there." They have kangaroos, and on the beaches they have these gorgeous
babes who don't wear any tops and sometimes no bottoms too. Everybody there
talks in a funny accent, but English,
because they started out as part of the Yukay, but
then there was continental drift or something. They also have a lot of
native people called Aforigines, who were maybe slaves? Probably, because
they're black and mostly don't wear clothes, just like the babes on the
beach.
A long time ago, some rock bands came from there, but not so much now,
because there was a boycott till the South Austrians stopped doing Afartheid
to the Aforigines. But that's fixed now, isn't it? Still no new bands,
though. There's also some weird building they always show on the ads, but
nobody knows what it is. Maybe a kangaroo museum?
Austria
Austrica.
Don't
they have funny hats and dance around in the Apps?
What else do they do?
Asia
Azia. This is one of the continents, maybe the biggest one? It's full
of Azians. Really full.
B
Bahamas
Bahammas.
Isn't this where people go on vacation? They have beaches, and palm trees,
and cruise ships probably. Does anybody know if they have McDonnal's? They
should, or where would people get something to eat on vacation?
Balkan Republics
Bakassian
Republics. These are, like, those people
from a thousand years ago who do all the ethics cleansing because they
can't have MT Video on TV. They have Nikey caps, though. Cool. They used
to be another country, didn't they? But now they
have a lot of countries with names like Bimbollia and Unballia, and Krappia,
and Demonia, and Slavia. Is that some of them? So they've been killing
each other and trying to escape, which is when the Presdent sent a lot
of Stelfth bombers and cruise
missiles to make them stay in those tents. There were supposed to be
choppers too, but they didn't do much and got cancelled for bad ratings.
It seems like all their Presdents got sent to court for war crimes, but
did anything happen with that? (See "For Troubled Bakassian Republics,
Life Means War," Shuteye Times, Shuteye Town 1999.)
Bankok
Bangkock.
It's a city. In maybe Thighland?
Berlin
Beerlin.It's
a city. In Germania. And they have a wall or a
gate or something?
Belgium
Belgiun.It's
a country in Yurrup and the people who live there
speak Belgiun?
Belfast
Bellfast.It's
a city? In maybe Irelan?And it's all blown up there.
Chad
Brad.Isn't
this one of those countries that's in Afria? Except
this one has a really cool name.
Brazil
Brassil.It's
a city? In maybe Buenas Areas?
Brussels
Brustles.It's
a city? In maybe Flemia. Or Belgiun?
Buenos Aires
Buenas
Areas. It's a country in South
Ameria? Does anybody live there?
Bangladesh
Bungledash.
This is definitely one of those countries in Afria,
because everybody there is always starving
to death, with flies all over their face and stuff.
Bolivia
Bulivia.
Isn't this one of those countries that's in Afria?
Or is it in Yurrup instead? Because do they maybe
make watches there?
Burma, Myanmar
Burmia.Isn't
this one of those countries that's in Afria? It must
be because you never hear anything about it. Ever.
Botswana, Burundi, Burkina Faso
Burqwanda.Isn't
this one of those countries that's in Afria? It must
be because it has one of those names you can't say, with 'w's in funny
places.
C
Cheechia.Is
this one of those Roussian Republics?
Chile
Chille.
It could be way up north where it's cold, or way down south where they
have those hot peppers. One of those?
China
Chyna.They
have about two or three billion of them, and they used to be in the Soveit
Union, but now they're capitalists instead. Mostly they grow rice,
but they also have some islands—like
maybe Taiwunon and Honk Kong—where
the people make all the stuff Amerians buy at the mall. They should be
rich by now, but they don't know about being Pro-Choice to keep the population
from getting out of hand. (See also The Boomer Bible, Past Testament,
The Book of Chinks, Chapters 1-19.)
Colombia
Columbia.It's
the country where they make all the cocaine?
Congo
Conga.It's
a country in Afria where they have all those white
gorillas?
Constantinople
Constantople.Didn't
it used to be a city? In maybe Ittaly when the Romans
were?
Costa Rica
Costa
Riga. Doesn't Ameria
like own it? Oh. That's Porto Riga.
Cuba
Cuber.
That's where that little boy Ellio
came from, right? There's lots of nice weather and beaches and palm trees
and stuff. Also cigars. So Castrol's
from there too. Didn't he used to be a bad guy? But now he likes little
kids as much as everybody else.
D
E
F
Belgium
Flemia.
They're
in Yurrup?
Finland
Finnlan.Part
of the Yukay?
France
Franch.
The place where they have a lot of wine and women, and they also have berets.
The people who live in Franch are called French, because they speak French.
That's called French logic, which they're very good at. Franch used to
make a lot of history, but now they just wait around for tourists to come
so they can be rude to them. They keep the history in museums, which they
have a lot of. Also
churches, don't they? And don't they have a big film festival in Canned?
Is that where they do that cool dance where you can look up the women's
skirts? That's in Parish? Oh. There's also the Eiffle
Tower in Parish, which is a big city, with artists and women. Didn't they
do something in one of the wars? They must have, because they're in Yurrup
and everybody in Yurrup was in the wars. Right? Everybody
who isn't in Parish makes wine, and then they drink it and drive around
their villages in their funny little cars, which are too funny to sell
in Ameria. Is there anything else? Restaurants. Franch is famous for their
fries, but you can find those pretty much anywhere now, especially if there's
a McDonnal's, which they also have in Franch, because you have to be able
to get real food somewhere. (See also The Boomer Bible, Past
Testament, The Book of Frogs, Chapters 1-40.)
Falkland Islands
Fulklan
Islands. They're islands, and they're located
in one of the oceans?
G
H
Amsterdam
Hamsterdam.A
city? Maybe in Germania? It's where those little
rats that run in the wheels come from? Probably not.
Holland
Hollan.They
have windmills. And dykes.
Honduras
Honjuras.
Hong Kong
Honk
Kong. They're an island, and they have something
to do with Chyna? Are they maybe the ones who make
all the stuff that says 'Made in Chyna'?
Yugoslavia
Hugoslavia.
They're
one of those Roussian countries that used
to be in the Soveit Union, so they don't have anything. Maybe a war with
Roussia?
I
Indolesia.Are
they, like, lazy or something? Well, there's something about them. Maybe
a war?
ndia
Injia.It's
the continent where they keep the Middle East,
but there's a big chunk that isn't the Nation
of Islum because it's full of Hinjus,
maybe a billion of them. So maybe it's that part in the middle.They have
a lot of cows and cobras too, and nobody ever has anything to eat because
they're afraid to go into the fields where the cobras are and they won't
eat the cows because they're Hinjus. So they all come to Ameria and go
to medical school instead.
Iraq
Irak.They're
involved with the Middle East somehow, and they've
got Soddum Hussanus for a Presdent.
Ameria
kicked his ass in Desert Stork,
but since then he's been kicking Ameria's ass with the U.N.,
because he keeps saying we can't look at his Bomb
factory or his chemical and biological weapons until they're ready to use
on Newyork. It would spoil the surprise
or something.
Iran
Iram.Didn't
they have some hostages, and Ameria, like,
traded them for arms? Something about that. They're in the Nation
of Islum, but is there anything else about them?
Ireland
Irelan.It's
part of the Yukay, maybe up north? The Irish come
from there, and they like to bomb things. They used to like to drink, but
you can't say that anymore, so it's not true.
Israel
Isreal.Don't
they have a country in the Middle East, only
they're Jewish, which is why they all live in Newyork
instead of the Nation of Islum, where all
the other Middle Easters live? But they keep their Bomb in the Middle East,
and that's what makes the Presdent of the Nation of Islum so mad, because
he doesn't have one. His name is Lewis
Faroffakhan and he keeps taking a million people to Wishington
to help him hate the Jews. The biggest one who helps him is Yessir
Arafak, who isn't even black, but he hates the Jews too, which is why
he used to call them Isnotreal and tried to blow them up all the time till
they got the Bomb? But now he wants peace, which everybody could have if
Isreal sold their land in the Middle East and moved to Newyork full time,
but then they wouldn't have anyplace to keep their Bomb, and so they won't.
Isreal also has something to do with the Bible, don't they? Which is another
reason why they make everybody so nervous. And wasn't Jeesus
from Isreal too? Which makes everything more complicated than ever, because
the Jews don't even believe in Jeesus, which is why they always vote Democratic,
except maybe if Hillery's on the ballot,
because she wants to do what Faroffakhan says, because Al
the Sharp One won't make the Afrian-Amerians vote for her if she doesn't.
Anyhow, you can see what a mess it all is and why it would never be allowed
for Isreal to keep their Bomb in Newyork. It could get dangerous. And so
that's why they're always working on a peace plan in the Middle East?
Italy
Ittaly.It's
where the Mafia is from and is really cool because everybody's name ends
with "o" or "i" and has a nickname in the middle in quotes. And all the
women have really big boobs and eat pizza till they can't fit in clothes
anymore, which is why they used to have more painters than gangsters in
the middle ages. And also because there weren't any guns yet in the middle
ages. They
have a city called Roman where the Romans lived back
when there was Egyp and Grece.
What they have now instead of Romans is ruins. And churches. Because the
Mafia always likes big funerals with lots of flowers, which is best if
there's a church, except for when the Mafia is in Lost
Vegas, which is different. Isn't
there a city called Venich too? Which is all water and is where they invented
the thing about sleeping with the fishes, because if you take somebody
for a ride in Venich, they're sleeping with the fishes as soon as you push
them out the car door. Ittaly
is where pizza came from in the first place, and so they have a leaning
Tower of Pizza which is on all the pizza boxes all over the wurld. It
could maybe be fallen over by now, because it leans pretty far. On the
box anyway. Maybe one of those Ittalian women leaned too far over the edge.
It seems like that's all it would take. Right? Don't the Ittalians also
have a lot of fast, sexy cars? Sure they do. Because you have to get away
from the cops, don't you? The faster the better. And
sexy doesn't hurt. So if you're running from the cops in a fast, sexy car
with a woman who's got big boobs and a mouthful of pizza and then you go
speeding by a church where they're having a funeral for a gangster who
made some painter sleep with the fishes, you're probably in Ittaly. Especially
if a big tower suddenly falls over on your head. (See also The
Boomer Bible, Past Testament, Book of Giants, Chapters 1-14.)
Ivory Coast
Ivy
Coast. It's a country? Or a city? Or an island?
J
K
L
M
N
Nippal.Uh,
we don't know. But it sounds cool.
Nigeria
Nogeria.
Another
Afrian one. Got to be.
Northern Irelan
Northern
Irelan. More Yukay. They're
in Irelan? In the northern part.
North Koreya
North
Koreya. Aren't they, like, out of everything but uniforms, guns, and
uranium? They're supposed to have a bomb pretty soon, but they don't fight
wars with anybody, do they?
Norway
Norwegia.
They're a country all by themself, up in the north. Aren't they where the
Vikings came from? Cool. They speak Norwegian, and they have lots of gorgeous
blonde babes if it ever got warm enough for to see they what look like
under those parkas.
Niger
Nuger.They're
a country in Afria, but they're really poor because
everybody's afraid to say their name out loud in case it gets taken the
wrong way.
O
P
Q
(uh, we don't know any of these 'Q' ones right now. They're pretty weird.)
R
S
Siboom.But
maybe they like it where they are, which we wouldn't know about, because
nobody's ever been there. Right?
Siberia
Siburia.It's
cold there, isn't it?
Syria
Siria.
It's the place where the Mafia comes from in Ittaly.
No, wait... that's wrong. It's Sissaly where the
Mafia comes from.
Sicily
Sissaly.It's
the place where the Mafia comes from in Ittaly. Is
it maybe a city, or a state or something? It must be.
Swaziland
Snaziland.This
is the country where all the Germans hid after the war.
Singapore
Songapore.Something
about beating up defenceless kids... Does anybody remember? No? We can't
think of it right now.
South Africa
South
Afria. It's in Afria, in
the southern part, at the bottom.
South America
South
Ameria. It's a continent and it's full of drugs
and rainforests, only not so many rainforests
as before because they're knocking them all down to grow more drugs.
South Korea
South
Koreya. Isn't everybody there named Park or Kim? Or is that just the
million or so grocery store owners who came to Ameria? The ones who are
still in Koreya all work in electronics factories, except for the ones
who make cheesy little cars. And aren't they, like, worried about the North
Koreyans for some reason? Maybe the presdent should send some troops
over there to keep the peace. That would work, wouldn't it?
Soviet Union
Soveit
Union.They used to own pretty much everything
except Ameria and a few countries in Yurrup,
but they had a long Coal War with Ameria
on account of political differences, because the Soveit Union was communist
and Ameria was capitalist. Communists think the government should own all
the capital and give a little income to the people, and capitalists think
the government should own all the income and give a little capital to the
people. It sounds like it should be maybe be the other way around, but
it isn't. It turned out the communists were wrong. They used up all their
capital building nuclear missiles to aim at Ameria, but Ameria never did
run out of income building nuclear missiles to aim at the Soveit Union.
You see, when you've got income it keeps coming. When all you've got is
capital, it gets used up. Which explains why the only country that's still
in the Soveit Union is Cuber, and all the other countries
are out on their own now, looking around for some income to own. They haven't
had much luck so far, because Ameria owns all the income. Roussia
still has a bunch of missiles, though, and they'd really really like some
income.
Spain
Spaine.They're
definitely from Yurrup. They have bullfights and
churches. And wasn't some painter from
there? But then everybody left to go to South Ameria.
(See also The Boomer Bible, Past Testament, The Book of Spics, Chapters
1-17.)
Sri Lanka
Sri
Linki. This would be just a guess, but aren't
they off by themself a little, on an island?
Sudan
Suddan.They're
the
country in Afria where Clitton sent all the Stelfth
bombers when he got empeached. It was cool. They blew up the Suddanese
factory so good nobody could even recognize it afterwards.
Suez Canal
Suaz
Canal. It's a canal somewhere.
Sweden, Switzerland
Swederland.They're
the country in Yurrup with all the banks and the
beautiful blonde babes, which is a pretty cool combination. Don't they
also do skiing, maybe in the Apps? They also talk Swedish.
T
Turkey
Turkiey.It's
an island somewhere?
U
Armenia
Urmenia.If
they ever wanted some Amerians to come visit and spend some money, maybe
they could change their name to something else. Like maybe Happy City?
Would that work?
Uruguay
Uruquay.
Or
if they don't like Happy City, how about Funland?
Estonia
Ustonia.Although,
if they called themself Funland, probably people would be expecting rides
and funnel cakes instead of huts and bad teeth. Right?
V
W
X
Y
Z
Go to What's New from Mother
Publishing
Go to Who's Who in Ameria 2001
Go to Who's Who in Ameria 2000
Go to Who's Who of Has-Beens
2001
Go to Who's Who of Has-Beens 2000
Go to Who's Who of Foreigners
2000-2001
Go to Who's Who in History
Go to Shuteye Nation 2001.
Go to Shuteye Nation 2000
Go to Shuteye Nation Gazetteer.
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Go to the Y2000 Amerian Glossary
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